Growth

What is the measurement of growth? To some it is a category that can be measured. Take for instance, a scientist. He has to have something to measure growth against, whether it be length, mass, reaction, etc, he/she must have something to "show" for results or indicate there are no measurable results. I wish life were that simple. Wouldn't it be a lot easier to know how we are supposed to grow? Growth can be rewarding yet painful. Anything worth doing can be painful, but no one prepares you for the pain when in the midst of it. Not sure I have EVER been ready for the changes and growth of life when they occur. There are sooooo many stages of growth in life. There's going from being a child to teenager. Then from being considered a "kid" to college. Then marriage, children, and work. So many challenges during the longest stage of life (when you're married and raising children) that growth is inevitable. The most recent stage of "growth" for me has been the most difficult, yet necessary. Taking Morgan to school and seeing her struggle with those issues that arise from being in college. Homesickness, looking for a job, school, friends, balancing it all, and getting sick for the first time while away from home. When our kids are little we control every aspect of their lives from what they wear to what they eat and who they play with; as young adults they have to learn the consequences of all the decisions they make. It is hard watching her trying to navigate those issues without wanting to jump in and make them for her. This is as much a growth process for her as it is for me. I think the toughest thing as a parent is learning when to just sit back and be "available" rather than check in all the time. Lord, give me strength to learn how to be a good parent at this stage of Morgan's life!!!

Stress

I ALWAYS have some level, form or otherwise of stress on me. Whether it's being pressed for time, having to get housework done, remembering schedules, dealing with the "junk" that comes with having a home, being married and a parent it never ends. I don't know why, but sometimes I deal with it flawlessly, juggling work, kids, house, husband, bills, etc without missing a beat. Other times, it's like I can't get anything right. Not sure why. No one said when we got married 20 years ago, "by the way dear, you'll need to brush up on your multitasking skills" or "make sure you have a PhD in management". No one prepares you for being a parent; no one prepares you for the difficulties of marriage; no one prepares you for the things you will have to endure for the sake of your family. Why is it then sometimes I can handle these things without issues and sometimes it seems I draw issues to myself? Self deprecation? Self loathing? Or perhaps just a sense that it must happen this way. Not sure. Just having a crappy week I guess. If it were not for the difficult times, I wouldn't learn to appreciate the good times. Lord, help me deal with my plateful this week! Another week in the trenches!!

Patience

I am always amazed at my own lack of patience when it comes to rude drivers, people who do crazy things, and well, just plain stupidity. I have to continually work on that. I fall very short of the mark to say the least. In customer service it used to be a nice commodity, but now it is an expectation. In our "instant" society we expect everything now and when we are not provided with it we have a dim view of that particular service provider. It was evidenced during my last grocery store trip. I picked up 2 items and when looking for a check out, I picked the line that my friend was working (she is a checker). It happened to be the longest line and the woman in front of me had a ton of groceries and her own bags. The other lines were moving faster and the express lane didn't even have a line. I didn't want fast, I wanted to say hi and talk to my friend for a minute (the minute that we're "allotted" to make small talk to the cashier and then go on our merry way). I was first approached by a front end manager who said "you only have two items, don't wait here, come to the express lane". I thanked her and said I was fine. Then, a few minutes later, the other front end manager said "ma'am, you only have two items, every other line is available" to which I replied "I'd rather wait, thank you". Quite funny how self imposed waiting makes so many people uncomfortable. I was thinking about the scripture "They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint" Isaiah 40:31. It is kind of like the self imposed waiting I had done. I knew I wanted to talk to my friend, but the only way it was going to take place was if I was her customer. I was willing to wait for it. I wanted to because I desired to talk to her. Do I desire the renewing of strength that comes with the waiting on the Lord? Not nearly enough. Lord, help me to wait on you today!!

I love this game!!

From the time I was very young, my Grandmother taught me to love the game of Baseball. We were a Red Sox house. I loved sports. Always have and always will. But there was a particular love for the Red Sox and Celtics in this house. I have not always played sports, but in High School I did and I loved it! There is something about the feeling you get when you work hard an entire game and you make the catch that wins the game, or the free throw that puts your team on top. Nothing like it in the world! The Red Sox vs. Angels game last night was one of those classic sports moments that one only reads about in a great book or see in a movie, probably to some tension building music. The score is tied, bottom of the 9th. Red Sox are up to bat with 2 outs, bases loaded, batter at full count. Every person in Fenway Park is on their feet. This is it. The final pitch. Who will come out the victor? Will the batter become the hero of the night or the pitcher save the day? The pitch goes out, there is a crack of the bat. It's a fly ball! Everyone standing at attention to see if the outfielder will catch it! It bounces several feet in front of him on the grass! Home plate is crossed, the Red Sox win it in the only place it could happen and be truly appreciated. What a moment. I love this game!