Thanksgiving

Well, this year we are in Winslow, ME for Thanksgiving. It has been literally years since we've been here. There is so much history for Mark and I and the kids. Mark and I met, dated, were married and started a family here but what makes a family? Is it geographical location? No. Is it the house you live in? No. The memories of both location and homes are part of those things of the past, but it isn't the places. It's the people in it. We have a fantastic family. I have been married to the same wonderful man for 20 yrs and we have 2 awesome kids. I love our life and am completely contented with the fact we aren't perfect but we love each other! I am thankful for the blessings of family. Prior to last year, I had cooked Thanksgiving dinner for my parents, my sister's family and my family. Last year Mom did and this year, Mark, Jeff (his brother) and Francine (my mother in law) will be cooking for us. It really doesn't matter to me as much as the time we spend together. I love spending time with my kids and extended family. I hope for you that you don't get so caught up in the rituals of Thanksgiving that you forget to just stop and spend time together and be thankful for one another!! We are blessed and I wish the same blessing for you!! Happy Thanksgiving!

Regrets.....?

It has been a little while since I posted anything, so I figured might as well do it this morning. There are moments when I wish I could go back in time and change either a decision made, action taken or something I said. I know everyone has those moments. It's frustrating. The most frustrating thing is either the action or words playing over and over again in my head like a tape recorder and I'm helpless to do anything about it. The problem is we (a lot of times) don't take the time to think about it before we act, however, there are sometimes when we don't have the opportunity to do such a review in our heads ahead of time either. I turned 40 this year, and you would be surprised how reflective you get even though I maybe have lived through 1/2 my life. I have come to a few conclusions about this: 1. You cannot go back and have a re-do, only start overs, 2. Life is full of regrets, but it is also full of victories and accomplishments, it is necessary to put the focus on the correct side of that pendulum, and 3. In spite of it all, if I have learned nothing from them then I have lived and perhaps relived those mistakes for nothing. I don't want to do that. It is funny how when we're younger, we are so anxious to grow up yet when we grow up we yearn for the times when life was simple and carefree. I would never want to go back and relive my life again, but I hope to continue to grow so that I have fewer and fewer regrets and more and more victories. There has to be a huge acknowledgment however, in the fact that as a Christian I am imperfect made perfect through the blood of Jesus Christ. I can't for one minute take credit for anything good. It is Him in me that I am able to do any good because of the love and example shown to me through grace. I am eternally grateful for this. It is what allows me to mess it up and continue to grow. Thank God He loves me and desires to have a relationship with me. I am not sure where the journey will take us over time, but wherever it does, I pray for wisdom and guidance. Thank you Lord for your perfect gift! May my imperfection not show the world a tainted view of your love but rather, through my imperfection show how amazing your grace is!!

Laying it down.

Today I lost someone I knew. I didn't hang out with him all the time, but I knew him, spent time with him and even saw him last week in my office. He died today. I cannot imagine waking up one morning not realizing that it was my last day. I have SO many things I want to do before I die. I know it is not something anyone ever really thinks about. Who would? It is a very morbid idea. Death. Scary, but why? Unknown I suppose. The finality of it all perhaps. I think the hardest thing is when you know someone, spend time with them and are invested in their life on some level it is a loss because there is a void where that person was. I really started thinking about this when I got home and a thought really hit me between the eyes. Jesus asked us to lay our lives down for Him. What does that mean? In times of war, a soldier puts his life in the hands of his fellow soldiers and they do the same for him. It simply means to be willing to die for a friend. We are not asked to physically die but die a spiritual death to ourselves and become a "living sacrifice" for Him. To be so sold out for Christ that we are willing to do everything, including DIE, for the sake of the gospel of Jesus Christ. The worst decision we have to make as Christians in today's society is if we can save ourselves embarrassment from a certain person/group from finding out we are a Christian. Are we really willing to lay our lives down? Willing to make the sacrifices necessary? Or at least be so sold out for the gospel of Jesus Christ that it impacts our lives in a real way? I fall WAY short, WAY too often. If today was my last day, can I truly say I have lived a life that is one of "living sacrifice" worthiness? I don't think so. Lord, help me to remember EVERY day of my life that I am a living sacrifice. Help me to be that sacrifice because I am NOT able to do it on my own and desperately need your help! Help me to live every day of my life as it is my last!