Self discipline, schmiscipline.

Well, I have to admit it. I lack discipline. I suck, admittedly. I make plans and don't finish, I started losing weight only to gain 1/2 of it back (like for the 50th gazillion time). WHY??? Well, I have come to the conclusion I am pretty lazy. No excuses, just trying to figure it all out. The sad thing is I get on my son for being lazy, lacking discipline and here I am, the queen of laziness. Ahhh..........so what shall I do, just give up? No, that's stupid. I guess it's never too late to start and as long as I take it a day at a time I can do it. I have come to the conclusion that "programs" "pills" and all the other myriad of things that can be purchased via TV or internet only work because you're letting them do all the thinking for you. Ahem, laziness. The only real way to come to a result is to make a determination that I'm going to eat less and exercise more. Simplistic I know.......believe me. It sounds a lot easier than it is. I ACTUALLY have to plan ahead and either get up early for work or go to the gym after work. I have to watch what I eat and ice cream is NOT on the diet........I know, completely sucks. I am a junk food-a-holic (if there is such a thing). I would rather eat fried than grilled, opt for fries and leave the friggin salad out of it. This doesn't even delve into my addiction to chocolate. That's a whole other blog for another day. Oh well. So, here I go ........AGAIN!!! Wish me luck, and admittedly I will need prayer. I will be doing most of the praying though. I have no discipline within myself and need all the help I can get.

Thank you Lord in advance for all the help you are giving me and grace you bestow!

Sorrow and Hope

Sadness. Overwhelming sorrow. It is a peculiar thing how this one thing can affect your entire body, mindset and health. My family found out that my sister in law has cancer and it is spread throughout her body. It doesn't look good for her, but no final answers until tomorrow. How else could one respond except overwhelming feelings of sadness? She is in a great deal of pain plus she has 5 children. Two of whom are 13 and 11 (my brother's biological children). The thing that escapes me is how someone can endure the pain (both physical and emotional) without God. He is such an ever present part of our lives and the thought of not being able to talk to Him, read scripture and gain comfort gives me a feeling of overwhelming sorrow. If I found out today that I have a terminal illness and was told I may die I would be sad. Sadness in the thought I would be missing my children growing up. Sadness in leaving those I love behind to endure the pain of the loss. But I would not fear death. Why? It is not the end. Scripture tells us it is not. We have hope! Hope that one day we will all fellowship again in Heaven! It is not a permanent end but rather a hiccup in our time together. As a follower of Jesus Christ I have the hope and assurance I will not only live with my Savior one day, but will reunited with our loved ones! I pray that if you don't know Him or it's "been awhile", you make a commitment to Him. He's waiting. Are you listening? I pray you are.