Character witness

It's been a few days since I posted something, not sure any experiences I've had this last week would merit a "post", but here goes. This last week showed me some insight into people's character. I am not a perfect person, not even close. I hope when asked, people who know me would say I have character. I don't know, you'd have to ask them. I have had a lot of time to observe character this week during my recent trip to Atlanta. I work with guys who are very serious about their business and are guys with character. It is rare to find both in the business world. I admire that in a person to the extent I will avoid people who lack it. When the guys I work with noticed during the "dinner" hour in the lobby a gentleman (I use the term loosely) hitting on any and every girl in the lobby, it was a bit amusing at first. Then, when he was attempting to do something shady, they tried to step in and make sure he wasn't taking advantage of someone who was by herself. That takes character. How many people do you know would just stand by and watch things happen and say, "surely I didn't see what I thought I did", or "it's none of my business". That's a cop out. If you see something potentially bad about to happen and stand by and do nothing, shame on you. In the line of business we're in we have to read people. We're good at it. That's why we're in business and it's doing well. We are consultants of sort, so you must know your client and be able to read them. Some of the smartest people I know couldn't read someone if their life was in print on their face. That's why it was such a good thing they are good at it. I wonder why some people compromise themselves to the point they are making decisions that bring their character into question. I am very blessed to work with people with character. Blessed indeed.

Motivation

A lot can be said about motivation. In criminal cases, a crime is committed, the CSI crew comes to collect evidence, then it's presented to detectives who attempt to piece together the crime in a backwards sort of sense. They start with the end results and work their way backwards. A prosecutors job is to present his/her version of what happened and the key to the case is motive. If you have motive and opportunity then the case being presented is probable and could have happened that way, true or not. It just needs to be probable beyond reasonable doubt. In the case of motivating a person to do a certain thing in a certain way is not as simple as a criminal case where you study what happened, interview witnesses and go backwards. In the case of trying to motivate someone, you are intentionally trying to produce a certain result based on motivating that person to act in such a way to produce that desired result. I learned a very long time ago you can teach someone how to do something, you can teach them the reasoning behind doing it the way you have instructed them to do it, but you cannot, however, teach them how to be motivated to want to do it at all. It is different for each person. I work, maintain a home, family, schedules, keep gas in the car and food in the cupboard. Why am I able to do the things I have to do on a daily basis? Motivation. I would argue sometimes selfish motivation, or at least to make my life easier. Why do I make sure Jonathan makes the bus in the morning? Sometimes to the point I will yell like a drill Sergeant to ensure he's out there in time? I don't want to sit in the traffic at Lakeside! Selfish, I know, but motivation all the same. I wish I could offer some advice to those going through their motivation issues who are at the beginning of their adult lives. It's difficult. When you're in the "in between" age of being an adult but being very reliant upon parents for most everything you are motivated to be independent. You want a place of your own and to be able to make all your own decisions. That independence also comes with all the responsibilities of paying your own bills, providing for your own household, and at times suffering the consequence of the results of those decisions. The only thing I can say with a great deal of certainty is when you are trying to decide what to do with the rest of your life, do what you love. You can be motivated to do something for awhile. You might do it for the sake of your family (I have done things I hate for the betterment of my family many times), or for the sake of lifestyle. Those things will only last so long, and if you hate what you do, you will become an angry person, aware of it or not. There is no worse place to find yourself than resenting the job you have, the reason you do it or the attitude you have because you hate it. I loved music. I could play the piano or sing all day long when I was younger. I found out very quickly that a real living couldn't be made off my talents, what little they are or were. I would have to find a job to pay the bills. I navigated a gazillion different jobs over my lifetime. Retail store clerk, sewer in a shirt factory, medical assistant, restaurant server and manager, car sales and now insurance. It took over a decade of my married life to find what I loved and want to do it everyday. I can truly say that I do now. I love helping people and enjoy the customer contact. I think I'm good at it. Finally, I have found my niche. It took Mark even longer. He started to complete his Bachelor's about the same time I started in insurance. He completed knowing it may not take him where he wanted to go, but would eventually get him there. He loves teaching. He will be finished with his Master's of Arts in Teaching in just a few weeks. He would not have been able to do this straight out of High School. He had no motivation. He thought he wanted to be in management in some capacity in retail. He never would have wanted to go into teaching at that time. He wasn't ready, but now he has found something he loves and is doing a fabulous job! How I wish we could all acquire the crystal ball to see the future, but at this point it does not exist. You have to determine what motivates you and move forward from there. Motivation. What a complicated thing.

Band Mom

Since Jonathan has been in High School, all of 7 weeks, the weeks have become tremendously busy. He has band practice after school 3 nights a week and then a game every Friday night. Each Friday he has a game we get home between 11 and 12. It has rearranged our schedule so we are there to pick him up after practice and then games each Fri. To top it off, we are down to 1 car trying to coordinate schedules (Mark is finishing the last semester of his Master's degree, I am working in the office everyday and Jonathan's practice). It has been a challenge to say the least. This has been my Friday evening view for the last 4 weeks and will continue until November. I am not complaining in any way. Not in the least. I know how fleeting the time is with our children when they are young so I do all these things for my kids and my family. I just wonder why schedules and life in general has to be so busy and crazy. When Morgan was in Chorus there was virtually nothing that had to be done. It was pretty much just helping for dessert theater and putting programs together. There really wasn't any traveling (like with the football games), but I did take the kids to All State auditions last Oct. I think we got lost and had to stop and ask directions. CRAZINESS! Those, however, are the funny things we remember. I may not be rich, I may not have fame but being "Mom" is a tremendous responsibility which I can only do with God's help. I love my kids and even though they probably don't appreciate all I have done and do for them, someday I hope they look back and say "Man we had some fun times and even though we didn't always have it easy, Mom was always there and showed me she loved and supported me!". I will continue to treasure every minute!

Growth

What is the measurement of growth? To some it is a category that can be measured. Take for instance, a scientist. He has to have something to measure growth against, whether it be length, mass, reaction, etc, he/she must have something to "show" for results or indicate there are no measurable results. I wish life were that simple. Wouldn't it be a lot easier to know how we are supposed to grow? Growth can be rewarding yet painful. Anything worth doing can be painful, but no one prepares you for the pain when in the midst of it. Not sure I have EVER been ready for the changes and growth of life when they occur. There are sooooo many stages of growth in life. There's going from being a child to teenager. Then from being considered a "kid" to college. Then marriage, children, and work. So many challenges during the longest stage of life (when you're married and raising children) that growth is inevitable. The most recent stage of "growth" for me has been the most difficult, yet necessary. Taking Morgan to school and seeing her struggle with those issues that arise from being in college. Homesickness, looking for a job, school, friends, balancing it all, and getting sick for the first time while away from home. When our kids are little we control every aspect of their lives from what they wear to what they eat and who they play with; as young adults they have to learn the consequences of all the decisions they make. It is hard watching her trying to navigate those issues without wanting to jump in and make them for her. This is as much a growth process for her as it is for me. I think the toughest thing as a parent is learning when to just sit back and be "available" rather than check in all the time. Lord, give me strength to learn how to be a good parent at this stage of Morgan's life!!!

Stress

I ALWAYS have some level, form or otherwise of stress on me. Whether it's being pressed for time, having to get housework done, remembering schedules, dealing with the "junk" that comes with having a home, being married and a parent it never ends. I don't know why, but sometimes I deal with it flawlessly, juggling work, kids, house, husband, bills, etc without missing a beat. Other times, it's like I can't get anything right. Not sure why. No one said when we got married 20 years ago, "by the way dear, you'll need to brush up on your multitasking skills" or "make sure you have a PhD in management". No one prepares you for being a parent; no one prepares you for the difficulties of marriage; no one prepares you for the things you will have to endure for the sake of your family. Why is it then sometimes I can handle these things without issues and sometimes it seems I draw issues to myself? Self deprecation? Self loathing? Or perhaps just a sense that it must happen this way. Not sure. Just having a crappy week I guess. If it were not for the difficult times, I wouldn't learn to appreciate the good times. Lord, help me deal with my plateful this week! Another week in the trenches!!

Patience

I am always amazed at my own lack of patience when it comes to rude drivers, people who do crazy things, and well, just plain stupidity. I have to continually work on that. I fall very short of the mark to say the least. In customer service it used to be a nice commodity, but now it is an expectation. In our "instant" society we expect everything now and when we are not provided with it we have a dim view of that particular service provider. It was evidenced during my last grocery store trip. I picked up 2 items and when looking for a check out, I picked the line that my friend was working (she is a checker). It happened to be the longest line and the woman in front of me had a ton of groceries and her own bags. The other lines were moving faster and the express lane didn't even have a line. I didn't want fast, I wanted to say hi and talk to my friend for a minute (the minute that we're "allotted" to make small talk to the cashier and then go on our merry way). I was first approached by a front end manager who said "you only have two items, don't wait here, come to the express lane". I thanked her and said I was fine. Then, a few minutes later, the other front end manager said "ma'am, you only have two items, every other line is available" to which I replied "I'd rather wait, thank you". Quite funny how self imposed waiting makes so many people uncomfortable. I was thinking about the scripture "They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint" Isaiah 40:31. It is kind of like the self imposed waiting I had done. I knew I wanted to talk to my friend, but the only way it was going to take place was if I was her customer. I was willing to wait for it. I wanted to because I desired to talk to her. Do I desire the renewing of strength that comes with the waiting on the Lord? Not nearly enough. Lord, help me to wait on you today!!

I love this game!!

From the time I was very young, my Grandmother taught me to love the game of Baseball. We were a Red Sox house. I loved sports. Always have and always will. But there was a particular love for the Red Sox and Celtics in this house. I have not always played sports, but in High School I did and I loved it! There is something about the feeling you get when you work hard an entire game and you make the catch that wins the game, or the free throw that puts your team on top. Nothing like it in the world! The Red Sox vs. Angels game last night was one of those classic sports moments that one only reads about in a great book or see in a movie, probably to some tension building music. The score is tied, bottom of the 9th. Red Sox are up to bat with 2 outs, bases loaded, batter at full count. Every person in Fenway Park is on their feet. This is it. The final pitch. Who will come out the victor? Will the batter become the hero of the night or the pitcher save the day? The pitch goes out, there is a crack of the bat. It's a fly ball! Everyone standing at attention to see if the outfielder will catch it! It bounces several feet in front of him on the grass! Home plate is crossed, the Red Sox win it in the only place it could happen and be truly appreciated. What a moment. I love this game!