You make me sick, wait........what I meant was I make you sick........

I'm encouraged but am a bit heartsick. Have you ever been heartsick? Have you ever felt like your heart literally aching from being heartsick? Why am I heartsick you ask? Well, a few reasons. Not what people traditionally think of being heartsick over. Not because of a relationship. Not because of selfish reasons to be sure. I am heartsick for my church. I feel like they aren't understanding what kind of blessings that He has waiting for us, but aren't either interested or care about what's going on. I think apathy would be the greatest of reasons why we are in the predicament we are. Maybe I'm wrong. But, this thing I do know.

Our priorities are out of whack!!

Have you experienced that? Feel like you're always chasing your tail, like you are never accomplishing anything and just pacing in a circle?? That's what I feel like is happening in our church. We're questioning why we should do something or not with the wrong checklist. See, the Lord wants to know our willingness to do something and provides for that thing to be accomplished according to His will. Not, do we have the money? resources? people? time? ok, then I guess we can do it.

WRONG!!!!!!!!

God doesn't care about our resources, HE OWNS IT ALL ANYWAYS! He doesn't care about money, IT'S ALL HIS TO BEGIN WITH!!! He doesn't care if you're willing, if you're not, HE'LL COMPEL SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT!! See, we have it backwards. All He wants is us, totally sold out and willing to do His will. Without question. Then and only then He'll use us.

So why, you ask, are you heartsick?? Well, I'm heartsick because I feel like the Lord has given us blessings at our church. Blessings of money, people, resources, time and we squander it on figuring out if we can "afford" something. Not being cheerful in our giving (when we give). Robbing those who could be blessed and ourselves of the blessings that could be ours for doing His will.

I don't want to do that. I want to be sold out, completely and wholly for what God has for my life. I pray I don't squander opportunities provided. I pray I can be used. Period. In spite of my imperfection (trust me I have the imperfection thing down, cold).

Here's the thing..................................

If I'm heartsick for my church....................how much is God heartsick for me????

How many times have I disappointed Him, got my priorities out of whack and caused the creator of the universe to put his head in His hands in shame? Wow. I'm terrible. But that's it. We're all terrible. But He loves us. We all have our priorities out of whack and He still uses us for His work and will.

So, here's my conclusion...............

God uses us in spite of us. Thank God He does!!