Self discipline, schmiscipline.

Well, I have to admit it. I lack discipline. I suck, admittedly. I make plans and don't finish, I started losing weight only to gain 1/2 of it back (like for the 50th gazillion time). WHY??? Well, I have come to the conclusion I am pretty lazy. No excuses, just trying to figure it all out. The sad thing is I get on my son for being lazy, lacking discipline and here I am, the queen of laziness. Ahhh..........so what shall I do, just give up? No, that's stupid. I guess it's never too late to start and as long as I take it a day at a time I can do it. I have come to the conclusion that "programs" "pills" and all the other myriad of things that can be purchased via TV or internet only work because you're letting them do all the thinking for you. Ahem, laziness. The only real way to come to a result is to make a determination that I'm going to eat less and exercise more. Simplistic I know.......believe me. It sounds a lot easier than it is. I ACTUALLY have to plan ahead and either get up early for work or go to the gym after work. I have to watch what I eat and ice cream is NOT on the diet........I know, completely sucks. I am a junk food-a-holic (if there is such a thing). I would rather eat fried than grilled, opt for fries and leave the friggin salad out of it. This doesn't even delve into my addiction to chocolate. That's a whole other blog for another day. Oh well. So, here I go ........AGAIN!!! Wish me luck, and admittedly I will need prayer. I will be doing most of the praying though. I have no discipline within myself and need all the help I can get.

Thank you Lord in advance for all the help you are giving me and grace you bestow!

Sorrow and Hope

Sadness. Overwhelming sorrow. It is a peculiar thing how this one thing can affect your entire body, mindset and health. My family found out that my sister in law has cancer and it is spread throughout her body. It doesn't look good for her, but no final answers until tomorrow. How else could one respond except overwhelming feelings of sadness? She is in a great deal of pain plus she has 5 children. Two of whom are 13 and 11 (my brother's biological children). The thing that escapes me is how someone can endure the pain (both physical and emotional) without God. He is such an ever present part of our lives and the thought of not being able to talk to Him, read scripture and gain comfort gives me a feeling of overwhelming sorrow. If I found out today that I have a terminal illness and was told I may die I would be sad. Sadness in the thought I would be missing my children growing up. Sadness in leaving those I love behind to endure the pain of the loss. But I would not fear death. Why? It is not the end. Scripture tells us it is not. We have hope! Hope that one day we will all fellowship again in Heaven! It is not a permanent end but rather a hiccup in our time together. As a follower of Jesus Christ I have the hope and assurance I will not only live with my Savior one day, but will reunited with our loved ones! I pray that if you don't know Him or it's "been awhile", you make a commitment to Him. He's waiting. Are you listening? I pray you are.

Endings are beginnings

This school year has come to a close pretty quickly. I cannot believe it was last August I dropped Morgan off at school and will be going to get her in a week and a half. Time flies. Time in general goes faster it seems the older you get. Not really sure why that is the case. As a kid I couldn't wait for school to be over, then to get married, then to have kids, then to see them grow. I am feeling like all that has gone within a blink of an eye and soon it will be just Mark and me! I really hadn't contemplated that fact until very recently. It makes me think about back when we first married and it was just the 2 of us. It still is a ways off, but something to contemplate. I will be happy for a simpler life without running kids back and forth to wherever or the never ending money stream leaving my pocket, but all in all I will miss it. Every new ending is a beginning of another chapter. I am always excited to see what the next one will bring!

To compromise or not to compromise...

Today is just another day. Another day of working, eating, sleeping and other misc things needing to get done. Not anything special. I am amazed, however, how compromised people become. I talked with someone today who has little by little, taken advantage of. To the point they are no longer just being taken advantage of, but outright being wronged. Why? Initially to please the person doing it in hopes of receiving some type of reward, so to speak. Now, it is just to appease them. Sad. If I were to tell you that you would, say, be having an affair; or stealing an item from a store; or perhaps lying to someone you love I would hope you'd say, NO WAY! But how does a person go from being so dogmatic about wanting to do the right thing to actually committing the offense? Slowly, little by little, compromising yourself. It doesn't usually happen that a person wakes up one morning and says, "I think today I'll doing something terrible", no it is a progressive thing. We become desensitized over time. We justify the reasoning based on some wrong perhaps done to us. I have a news flash.......there is no right way to do a wrong thing. If you know it's wrong, there is NO justification for it. I need this as much as the next person. I have to remember to guard my heart and mind against those things that would cause me to stumble. Just one question I need to ask... am I compromising myself in some way? If so, I need to go to the source of all strength and ask for the one who can guard up my heart and mind to do so. There is a reason we have a conscience. It is to help guide us, but essentially since it can fail we have to remember that humanity has no good. None at all. I am thankful for God, his grace and that He loves and cares about me to be the guard for my heart and mind!

Survey says......

I would like to take a quick survey of those who may read my blog. I am a Christian, and I guess you wouldn't have to read too many posts to figure that out. I am curious, however, among those who would consider themselves Christians as well as those who wouldn't some observations about the church. So, hopefully I'll get a response or two, we'll see.

1. What do you think the ultimate purpose of the church is?

2. What type of things should a church be doing to achieve the purpose?

3. Why do you go or don't go to church?

4. What would be something you'd like to learn about say in Sunday School or study in a Bible Study?

5. What biblical subject is most perplexing?

6. If you had a bad experience with a church, what was the resolution or was there one?

7. How do you feel you fit in or don't fit in with the church you go to now?

I am not trying to be nosy, just a bit curious as to what people are thinking. Thanks for looking, and if you answer, thanks for answering!

I am at a loss.....

To start I would like to say I have never used this blog as a forum for my political views nor have I ever made commentary about our government or politics. I am CERTAIN that all Presidents, past and future, have and will use something to help make their point. Whether foreign policy, domestic or some other issue they feel would help public opinion sway in their favor. I have never been shocked like I have when I spoke with a local business owner this week. This person was at a meeting with one of the "6" health care CEO's who supposedly met with President Obama to discuss healthcare reform. This gentleman had meetings with past presidents (Bush, Clinton) IN PERSON. They have had the same routine each time they have come. Arrive at the White House, ushered into the west wing, meet, sometimes followed by a press conference. This time, they were ushered into the east wing. After waiting for awhile, they were told to follow the staffer, who led them into a room with waiting tv cameras, lights, President Obama and his infamous teleprompter. He proceeded to read off said teleprompter followed by cameras off, teleprompter off, President exit and bye bye. No meeting with the President. Look at the White House's own transcript- it's a lie......he DIDN'T meet with them, nor does he care what they think or for that matter what you think. This is being shoved down their throats as much as the American public's! Read the transcript for yourself- http://www.whitehouse.gov/the_press_office/Remarks-by-the-President-on-Reforming-the-Health-Care-System-to-Reduce-Costs Are you kidding me? My husband has been saying since before the 2008 election that Obama is an ideologue who is, well, just plain arrogant. I have been of the opinion that he comes off as arrogant but surely he will do what the American public wishes. He won't go against what they want. WRONG. He IS an ideologue who feels we are all too stupid to figure out what is best for us, and is even on the road doing "town hall meetings" to lecture us how much we really don't understand. He has driven this country into deeper debt than any other president and the democrats are running for the hills to get away from him and his ideals so they can get re-elected. As a matter of fact, the US Government is in danger of losing it's AAA credit rating (according to Moody's). What does this mean? Well, when an individual has bad credit, they have to pay a higher interest rate because they are a credit risk. http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/287151 I have NEVER commented on political situations or politics in general, but having worked in the insurance industry for the last 9 yrs I feel like I have a stake in what happens to not just my industry but am insulted that Obama wants to tell me what is best for my industry having not even asked anyone who actually works in it. It would be like him coming into an ER and giving the physician advice as to how to treat the patient. Give me a break! I love my job and I wish insurance companies would do things differently, but going to a single payer system is NOT the answer. That is what Obama wants.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpAyan1fXCE ..... he just won't come out and say it now that he's president. It's not palatable. And by the way, did you watch his "meeting" with the GOP on Cspan? I did and I am disgusted. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1-jasxb7NY. This one from youtube is in it's entirety. If you support Obama, I am sorry if I offended you. I really am not a controversial person. If you ask my opinion, Bill Clinton started off weak and ended strong. I appreciate some of the things he tried to do like welfare reform and budget responsibility. This was at a time when Republicans were getting it wrong. I also didn't agree with everything that George Bush did either. His last year was weak and he wanted out. I thought Iraq was a mistake, but ALWAYS supported the troops! I guess what I want whoever reads this to understand is that we are all thinking people and should NEVER take a party line and stand on every issue. It's a mistake. I am concerned about lots of things including what kind of country I am leaving for my kids and grandkids. That should be the concern of every American.

To trial or not to trial??

^"2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. ⁴Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4. Pure joy. What exactly does that mean? Pure- free from anything of a different, inferior, or a contaminating kind. Joy-a state of happiness. We are to consider it happiness, free of anything else, when we face trials. Why? Well, the writer goes on to tell us that it is because we know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. So then what is perseverance? Steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc. especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement. Ever feel aimless? Like you a looking for a purpose or at least something greater than yourself. I sometimes do. I don't think when I was younger I would consider facing trials "pure joy" or that perseverance was something I longed for. There are times when life seems to fall lockstep behind us. Everything is coming easy and without trial or trouble. Then there are the trials. It doesn't mean that we are or have done something wrong or stepped out of line. It's in those times God is trying to do something with us or for us or prepare us for something else. The key to remember is that as His child, He is with us. He promises to never leave nor forsake us. What a great promise. No matter where we are, who we are with and regardless of having support of one kind or another, He is there. I am grateful. Grateful for all He's done and is doing in my life. I want to be aware of all He is doing in my "circle" of influence here and abroad. My prayer is that no matter what happens in your life and whatever comes your way that you would know there is a God, He knows all about you before you even open your mouth and say a word and wants you to know Him.